How could it be improved?

Get to the point faster and ensure the newsletter portrays one clear message. Rather than the series of questions, create a powerful and benefit-lead statement. For example: ‘Are your customers’ bored kids costing you sales?’

1. Reduce the size of the header, it can still identify the brand but it won’t dominate the page.

2. When explaining your products and services, keep your copy short and engaging. Be active, direct and avoid the passive voice. Go for an effective opening explanation no more than two lines long: Keeping your customers’ children stimulated gives you more time to make your sale. Comfy’s unique child entertainment products create the ideal family friendly sales spaces.

3. Make sure your products are the main attraction. People respond best to images and pictures are by far the best tool for marketing these products – the design should prioritise them at the top.

4. This is an acquisitional email, so it’s important to make the ability to purchase simple. While it’s not always possible to have ‘Click to buy now’ buttons, you should always include a prominent incentive or call to action of some kind. For example: Find out more – get in touch, with a direct email link and a phone number.

5. Include some vital information on each product – for example its size, age range, cost and an interesting feature. That way the reader can scan the page and doesn’t have to click through for important information that might push them towards a sales enquiry.

6. Mention that the units are available to be delivered and installed, as this is a great selling point and contributes towards making the process of buying as convenient as possible.

7. Relocate the vital information explaining which companies benefit from Comfy products to a clearly visible location near the top – perhaps in a list in the right hand column. Readers can quickly identify what you do and whether it’s relevant to them.

8. If you’re going to promote your other products, be descriptive and list them by name. A named product is far more likely to catch a reader’s attention and gain those all-important clickthroughs.